For the past month or so I’ve been taking Michele Bergh’s class on creating e-courses. It’s been an eye opening experience for me.
A heart opening one as well.
Because Michele has encouraged brainstorming. Mind mapping. Thinking about what we want to teach and why we want to teach it. And planning how to go about doing it.
Originally I thought I’d teach art classes…because hey, that’s what I do. And I probably will teach some. But I realize now I want to teach more.
Much more.
I want to give people the tools they need, the inner tools, to empower them to live a rich and creative LIFE. To wake up each day with a sense of excitement for what the day will bring. To understand the power of choice. Intention. Purpose.
To know it’s up to them. And excuses are just that…excuses.
To know the joy that I feel as I create the life I want. Because being happy feels so damn good!
It wasn’t always this way. I had to earn my PollyAnna stripes. For years I put my dreams on hold as I raised my kids. And then it was time to take care of my elderly mother. And I don’t regret doing any of that.
But there was always the undercurrent of frustration. Creativity unfulfilled. The novels unwritten. The blank canvasses. Coulda. Shoulda. Woulda. I told myself it was because I didn’t have the time.
But mostly it was because I didn’t have the passion.
Mama died last spring, just before her 96th birthday. A few weeks later, my dog. Nursing both my old ladies through their final months, weeks, hours left me numb. Left me empty. Left me questioning the purpose of living if dying was all there was to look forward to.
And then I started painting again. Painting painting painting painting PAINTING. Making marks.Throwing color on canvas, plaster on board. Scraping, scrubbing, sanding, creating things from a place inside that I never knew existed. For the first time in my life, even though I had an art degree and worked as an illustrator and art teacher, for the first time in my life I KNEW what it was to be an ARTIST.
I began waking up happy. Began embracing the passion of a new beginning. Of possibilities. Of living my dreams. At an age when my peers are counting the years before they can retire, I started nurturing plans for a whole new career. I taught myself WordPress, built a couple of websites. I’m painting, blogging, creating community, selling my work.
I’m saying YES! to life. Greeting each day with the excitement of what I can do to move my plans forward.
I’m living my life with the power of passion. As Martha would say, “It’s a good thing.”
When I was a kid, maybe 9 or 10, Mama came home one day and said she’d run into her friend Marion at the grocery store. Or some other mom hangout. She knew Marion from Girl Scouts. They were both leaders. Cookie chairmen. Badge honkers. District council mucky-mucks.
A chance meeting where Marion mentioned she was an artist and was teaching classes out of her home. A chance meeting that turned into years of Saturday mornings in Marion’s magical rambling arty house.
Saturday morning lessons with sister Marjorie Ellen. Because in the beginning it was really about her. She was the blazing art star, I was the tag along little sister. But those Saturday mornings with the Dunkin Donuts and the comaradarie, the kneaded erasers and the charcoal smudged fingers…those Saturday mornings set me on my life path.
Because Marion taught me how to SEE.
How to narrow my focus down to a piece of the whole, And expand my world in the doing. How to find elements of design and beauty in what others would pass off as mundane. The quality of a line. Or light. The indefinable something that sets one square inch off against another.
It’s a lesson I’ve taken with me. A lesson I’ve done my best to impart to my own students over the years. Look. Look look LOOK around you.
SQUINT!
I keep a camera with me most all the time. You never know when you’re going to come across the perfect crack in the sidewalk. Or a tree root.
Or an old rusty Ford truck. I could parcel this baby into at least three paintings.
And this stack of crates, funky old weathered things that once held fruit…this will be the inspiration for an oil and cold wax piece, I just know it. The finished painting won’t be a photo replica. It may not look anything like the photo at all. But there will be elements. Texture. Color. Something…
My absolute favorite from this particular day’s photos, another painting waiting to happen…screaming to happen when I put aside the acrylics and dive back into the oils…
The potential in this one takes my breath away. Where, WHERE could I have stumbled across such beauty???
In a restaurant parking lot, that’s where. A stucco wall surrounding the dumpster. A green SUV parked next to it, the light from the sun reflecting through the windows, tinting the wall.
Adding mystery. And richness.
The wall around a dumpster….
Because once upon a time Mama’s friend Marion taught a little girl to open her eyes and see.
Or what goes on inside that head of yours, Miz Susan? Really, WHAT???
Okay, so last week I got all fired up about Venus traipsing merrily across the sun. Because someone told me that astrology-wise it meant ALL SORTS OF CREATIVE WOO-WOO.
Whoo-hoo, I’m all for that, y’know.
So I went home and painted. Might’ve even showed you this. See, lookit…she’s in front of the sun! Because she’s Venus!
Oh, I was nothing if not clever, eh?
But in the clear light of another day, a day when my mind was stone cold sober and free from the effects of the astrological high…well, then I wasn’t nearly as impressed with my efforts. In fact, after some careful (i.e., spontaneous) consideration… I MADE HER GO AWAY!
Poof...just like that!
Be gone with you, pouty faced goddess!
Which is what happens when you arm a cranky artist with a loaded brush. Wasn’t exactly poof. First came the tortured hippy phase.
Next came death by Titan Buff. Followed by some scrubbing. Good way to get the mouldering in the grave effect, don’t you agree?
Then I said the hell with it and brought out my inner Flora Bowley. Because layers are good. A new start. Did a lot of layers, can’t say how many. By this time I was in a pissy mood perilously close to art therapy.
I looked at the scribbles and saw a woman. Not really, didn’t see a damn thing…but I still had Venus in my head. And if I wasn’t careful, if I didn’t part with Flora (whom I respect and admire tremendously) if I didn’t part with her right here, I would go on to paint some birds. And big ole va-jayjay flowers. Wouldn’t’ve been able to help myself.
So I cranked up the music and painted a GODDESS. And those blue squiggles on the lower left…they told me they were dancers. Holy crap! The Supremes!
No, no NO…not the Supremes…it’s the TRANSITS! Venus and the Transits!
'Venus and the Transits Rockin' Round the Sun' by Susan Lobb-Porter
And there you have it…Venus and the Transits Rockin’ Round the Sun.
PAR-TAY TIME!
I never say a painting’s finished until it leaves the studio. But this one’s close. Maybe a few little touches here and there. But no major facelift like she-who- lies-beneath-the-surface.
Now scroll back up and listen to Frankie. C’mon, you know you want to.
I’ve got the DNA of survivors. Of people too stubborn to go belly up until well into their 90s. Barring unforeseen circumstances, I stand a damn good chance of being just like them. Old.
I’m looking forward to it.
Because I intend to age well. I’m going to be the kick-ass little old lady who paints and sings and dances until the day she drops. Because I can.
And any time I feel stuck and need a reminder how absolutely beautiful growing old can be, I’ll watch this video for inspiration.
Because there’s nothing old about aging with grace.
Studio Grande in living color. Yummy luscious living C-O-L-O-R!!!
Look at that! Don’t you just want to dive in face first because it’s so EXCITING! Brushes! Paint! Ahhhhhhhhhhhh….
First tonight’s brushes…my special friends. The new favorite, the scrawny guy on the left. The one in blue. Came from a bin of cheapies at the local crafts store. OMG, I LOVE THIS BRUSH! Cost me under two bucks and he (’cause he’s a he) he’s a freakin’ work horse! I painted an entire canvas with him yesterday, a 28X30 inch canvas.
OK, so here it is from yesterday, a work-in-progress. But this is all the work of my new little friend.
Fast forward to tonight. I came home from work and headed down to the studio. I had the painting itch. Thought this girl might like to evolve some more. Figured it would be cool to show pictures of the process.
So I started taking them. The brushes up above.
The water.
The palette. Oh look…a yellow heart! And a while, umm…I dunno.
The process. Yes, yes, I know. I’m using the other brush. Must be cheating on Mr. Best Brush. Go figure.
And then…oh noooooooooo! I dropped the camera! All the way down to the floor. Where it bounced. And beeped. And stopped working.
Damn you, gravity!
IT STOPPED WORKING!!!
My beloved best ever in my pocket or purse all the time. My Canon SX210 STOPPED WORKING!!!
I thought about rushing in to town. Getting another one before the grief set in. Replace my camera with another and pretend the whole thing never happened. I’m an artist. And a blogger. How can I function without a camera???
I HAVE TO HAVE ONE!!!
But a trip to town would cost me the light. And a whole bunch o’money. And I had the painting itch. So I stayed in the studio and painted. Made quite a bit of progress. That I can’t show you. Because I don’t have a camera.
You’ll just have to take my word for it.
And if you can recommend a camera I’d be most obliged.
