For the past month or so I’ve been taking  Michele Bergh’s class on creating e-courses. It’s been an eye opening experience for me.

A heart opening one as well.

Because Michele has encouraged brainstorming. Mind mapping. Thinking about what we want to teach and why we want to teach it. And planning how to go about doing it.

Originally I thought I’d teach art classes…because hey, that’s what I do. And I probably will teach some. But I realize now I want to teach more.

Much more.

I want to give people the tools they need, the inner tools, to empower them to live a rich and creative LIFE. To wake up each day with a sense of excitement for what the day will bring. To understand the power of choice. Intention. Purpose.

To know it’s up to them. And excuses are just that…excuses.

To know the joy that I feel as I create the life I want. Because being happy feels so damn good!

It wasn’t always this way. I had to earn my PollyAnna stripes. For years I put my dreams on hold as I raised my kids. And then it was time to take care of my elderly mother. And I don’t regret doing any of that.

But there was always the undercurrent of frustration. Creativity unfulfilled. The novels unwritten. The blank canvasses. Coulda. Shoulda. Woulda. I told myself it was because I didn’t have the time.

But mostly it was because I didn’t have the passion.

Mama died last spring, just before her 96th birthday. A few weeks later, my dog. Nursing both my old ladies through their final months, weeks, hours left me numb. Left me empty. Left me questioning the purpose of living if dying was all there was to look forward to.

And then I started painting again. Painting painting painting painting PAINTING. Making marks.Throwing color on canvas, plaster on board. Scraping, scrubbing, sanding, creating things from a place inside that I never knew existed. For the first time in my life, even though I had an art degree and worked as an illustrator and art teacher, for the first time in my life I KNEW what it was to be an ARTIST.

I began waking up happy. Began embracing the passion of a new beginning. Of possibilities. Of living my dreams. At an age when my peers are counting the years before they can retire, I started nurturing plans for a whole new career. I taught myself WordPress, built a couple of websites. I’m painting, blogging, creating community, selling my work.

I’m saying YES! to life. Greeting each day with the excitement of what I can do to move my plans forward.

I’m living my life with the power of passion. As Martha would say, “It’s a good thing.”