Disclaimer: Yeah, I KNOW this is an art blog. That means there should be pictures, right? Well, I didn’t have any appropriate photos for this post. You’ll have to use your imagination.
I’m all about self-improvement. Really. I would love to live in a clean house, wear a crisp white apron (with little lacy hearts) while baking golden cookies and downing copious amounts of good-for-me greens. Smiling the whole damn time like the Beav’s mom.
I would sincerely…no, make that dearly, like to maintain a daily yoga/qi gong/meditation practice while listening to spiritual masters and communing with the universe beyond my current level of understanding. Way beyond. Like to the point of the ever-knowing imperturbable smile even when the voices in my head are being stupid dicks unkind.
And when I get to that point, words like damn and dicks would NEVER enter into my head, much less exit out of my mouth.
In a perfect world I would write (fill in your favorite adjective here) blog posts DAILY. You would tell your friends and they would tell theirs. On and on and on until I was more famous than Oprah.
Although I would settle for being half as rich as her. Just half. Really, is that too much to ask?
Yo, Universe, I’m talkin’ to YOU.
There would be a book deal. Oh, many of them. And Oprah, when she interviews me, because she would have to interview me, wouldn’t she… Oprah would notice I’m a size 2. Just a plain 2. No numbers or letters before or after it. USA Macy’s size 2.
And Oprah would be envious and offer me half of her wealth to be her life coach. If my math is right, that would make me twice as rich as her. Of course I would give most of it away to charity. Because I only have two feet and a girl can only have so many shoes. Unless they’re red. In that case maybe I’d keep the money.
But I’d think about giving it away.
I’m baring my soul to you (and what a lovely size 2 soul it is) because I’m doing this personal branding thing. Taking a class with Michele Bergh. I’ve taken classes with Michele before. She knows her stuff so I was reasonably sure her definition of personal branding would not involve hot metal and the smell of burning flesh.
Oh noooo, it’s MUCH more painful than that. Try standing out on the freeway naked (that’s nekked in cowboy speak) waving as the trucks whizz by. Yoo-hoo, fellas, what’dya think of this? Well, that’s what I had to do today.
Or at least it felt like that. Holy crap, did it ever. Crap, another word I won’t say once I’ve evolved. Maybe. Or maybe not. Depends on how pissed off I am. Oh crap, I suppose I’ll have to ditch piss as well. This being evolved shit isn’t all it’s cut out to be.
But back to personal branding sans cowboys. The first assignment Michele had us do, the one that made me feel naked, but not in a good way naked, was to ask friends, family and coworkers for feedback about me. Like, yo, hey, would you please fill out this questionnaire, this ANONYMOUS questionnaire. Say what you think about me. Let ‘er rip. I’ll never know who said what because it’s anonymous.
And then I’ll take those answers, size ’em up against my answers…what I think people think about me (because I had to answer the damn questionnaire too). After dismissing anything I don’t like as being nothing more than passive agressive retaliation because I forgot to pay back that 20 bucks I must owe someone, well then I’m gonna take that 20, put it as a downpayment on a pizza and beer. And find me a cowboy. With chaps. And just enough of a five o’clock shadow to make me forget about the pain.
And you, my best beloved sweetums, you can cheer me up by leaving sincere, happy face comments in one of those boxes down below. I will share the pizza with you. And the beer.
But not the cowboy. WOOT! I’m keeping him for myself.
I’m always reticent to give an opinion with too much seriousness, it being after all an opinion…….and as such being relative and saying just as much and probably more about the person giving than receiving. But, that being said, I understand where you’re coming from with this. 🙂 At least I think you’re asking us for our opinion of knowing you by way of this delightful (hint, hint) blog. In which case, I would say that what I think about you is that you are a courageous, living example of someone with a big, art-loving heart, who gives a fellow soul permission to taste and experiment with their innately creative capacity unrestricted. And, that, in my opinion, is just plain awesome!
Oh Bonnie, I’m blushing.
The questionnaire wasn’t that bad, mostly a multiple choice thing. It’s just the idea of putting myself out there. Sounds silly. I mean, I put myself out there on this blog. I put myself out there in shows. I put myself out there during all those critiques in art school and writing groups. I’ve got a pretty thick skin about a lot of things but this…this tweaked the buttons. 🙂
And it made a fun post to write.
🙂 🙂 🙂 Don’t suppose you could SHARE the cowboy? Huh? Huh? Questionnaires … about oneself … filled in by others … who know you … nasty cruel heartless … I think I’ll go for branding or nekkid, personally …
Brilliant post Susan – you are funny, brilliant, clever, beautiful, wicked, saucy, talented … hang on, I’ll just have to jump up and straighten that halo … Oh, and did I mention … as mad as a hatter????
xxx
The halo gets knocks askew by the mad hatter hat, Sue. Happens all the time 🙂
Get your own cowboy, woot!
xoxo
Since I live in constant paranoia of what people think of me, I don’t think I could handle that. And then I would become all passive aggressive about it and think “Oh yeah? You think I can be rude? Y’all haven’t seen rude yet!”. So I wish you luck with your survey. And cowboys. I wish you luck with cowboys. And I’ll just take some pizza, my poor digestive system can’t handle pizza AND beer…
Kristin recently posted..My first (and probably last) attempt at reupholstery
Burp. Thanks for stopping by, Kristin 🙂
I think you have already evolved. And you can still say crap, piss, damn, dicks AND shit. 🙂 You are a real person to me…and even though Oprah is a real person too…it’s nice that you still talk to your fans and blush AND believe that you still to need to “evolve.” You are funny, creative and an artist and I believe you are rich as her already too! Keep some of the money and give some away, buy lots of red shoes, share your food and drink…but always save your cowboy for just you! Great post! You are fabulous! Bravo for putting yourself out there! Love that Michele Bergh too. 🙂
I am bowing before you insight and wisdom, Karen. “…always save your cowboy just for you…” I’m thinking that’s some good advice. Now all I have to do is get Mr. Spouse to agree to the new ‘boarder’. 🙂
OMG I was laughing hard enough before trying to figure out if Sue was asking for a threesome or sloppy seconds….sorry, I couldn’t avoid going there…your words had me more than half way there already. I say, Susan, don’t settle for anything…ask for all of Oprah’s money and make more than that on your own on top of it! You’re worth it, after all.
I can’t wait to hear about all the wonderful feedback you receive and I have band-aids for any scabbed-over wounds that get re-opened here. I promise!
And if you just want to lay your head in my lap and cry like a baby, I’m here for you too.
I can’t wait to see how exploring your values tugs at you 🙂 {insert slightly evil laugh here}
Seriously, though! I’m so glad you are joining us in this process and it’s really amazing work!
Michele Bergh recently posted..WordPress – How’d They Do That?
I hope the band-aids have happy faces, Michele. I’m not a plain beige kind ‘ girl 🙂
And unicorns – just for you 🙂
Michele Bergh recently posted..Sign, Sign, Everywhere a Sign
Ohhh, I can see you’re all prepared for this class, Michele!
Thanks for the shot of endorphins(as in laughing is good for us)! I don’t mind Oprah but if I had to pick between flying to meet you or Oprah. . .I’d head your way,Susan. My mom never allowed me to use any of that damn language in those formative cursing years and now when I could be gettin’ colorful I can’t get the hang of it. Happy day, Sister!
Becky RedBarn
Becky recently posted..RedBarn Phenology
Becky Redbarn, come on down! We can sit on my front porch and cuss at the cat. She can’t hear worth a damn anyway.
Happy day back atcha! 🙂
Susan, you crack me up every time just about that I read your posts. That is a good thing for me to laugh more often and you do that every time for me. 🙂
So you are doing the branding course too. Isn’t it fun having to ask others what they think of us. I’m there with you. I am already getting some feedback. One person said that I reminded them of a rolling pin (that was supposed to be what kitchen appliance??), with no explanation. Hilarious. I’m having fun with it.
What I love about you Susan is definitely your sense of humour; you are an incredibly talented artist that I look up to; I love that the real person that you are shines through in what you do and in everything that you share about; your incredible love for animals; and also the day job that you do with special needs always touches my heart in big ways.
I just went to hear Oprah speak two evenings ago… she came to Canada to visit us, I hope she’ll come around your part of the world so you can go and be interviewed by her. 🙂
Suzanne McRae recently posted..An evening with Oprah!!
A rolling pin, Suzanne? Hmmm…I’ve been told in the past that I’m a steam roller…which was not a good thing, lol. We’ll see if opinions have mellowed somewhat this time around.
Reminds me of what Popeye used to say, “I yam what I yam.”
You’re so lucky you got to hear Oprah, to breath the same air . OMG!!! If you were physically closer I wound’t be able to keep my hands off of you 🙂
You go girl! I’m sure it’s incredibly daunting, but how cool are you to be taking those steps? Rock on!
Marjie Kemper recently posted..Layout ~ On the Air
Daunting indeed, Marjie. Hopefully enlightening and empowering as well. 🙂
You are just too funny!! Can I just copy your post and put it on my blog too!! ha! I guess there’s a bunch of us taking the class together, this ought to be a hoot, cause you’re rolling already!
It is quite funny seeing some of the responses coming in- can’t wait to see what the next step in our branding process will be but I have a feeling that you will be making us laugh..
Sue recently posted..Comment on Relaxation & Art by Naomi
The pain of it all is bringing out the clown, Sue 🙂
Glad to see you in the same boat. This should be verrrrry interesting!
Susan recently posted..Lovin’ On Lana