You know sometimes you hear something and it resonates as an AHA! lightbulb moment and all of a sudden you UNDERSTAND? You know what I’m talking about?
Well, I had one of those AHAs! today.
It revolved around the work-in-progress I showed you last week.
This puppy. It’s a big canvas, 4 x 4 feet. The image is based on an iPad painting I created back in January for a 30 paintings in 30 days challenge. I let it sit all week because I was busy. And when I made it to the studio yesterday, I found myself having way too much fun with landscapes and oil pastels. That canvas was soooo last week.
And today there was FaceBook. And e-mail. And all sorts of interesting stuff on the interwebs. And Facebook again. And all the other stuff I had to catch up with…including an online interview between Catherine Just and Rita Rivera Fox about being connected with ourselves. And how we find distractions to keep from feeling what’s really going on.
Ohhhhhhhhhh…LIGHTBULB!!!
So I sat and asked myself if I was really hungry for those chips. And my body said, Hungry? Helloooooo– you’re just scared shitless of that painting. What if you screw it up and it isn’t any good?
Well, logically speaking, that’s not a big deal. Screwups happen all the time in the studio, I just paint over it. Not worth eating that whole bag of potato chips over.
So I said, Hey fear, here’s some breath for you. Then went into the studio and painted. Spent a few hours putting paint on, scraping paint off. One step forward, two steps back in search of the creative voice this image wanted
I couldn’t find it but I wasn’t eating chips either.
Just when I was getting ready to stop for the day, I said what the hell and began smooshing the paint around with a rag and my fingers. And got just the look I didn’t know I was going for.
Rough. A little edgy. One hundred percent listening to my gut, not my head.
It’s a start. Perhaps there’ll be a finished painting to show next week. And if not, that’s okay, da Muse is happy and life is good.
Even without potato chips.
(But I didn’t say anything about chocolate!)
As always, I’d love to hear what you have to say about this in the comments below. And remember—
I use distraction all the time to get everything done and yet what I ‘ve been wanting to get done…well not so much. I’ve a master at avoiding. LOL.. Although getting closer to working on my projects too.
I just use it to get fat, Kelli 🙂
Ooohhhhh both you and Kelli had messages for me today. I thank you. I shall forego the bag of chips (but perhaps not the chocolate chips. Yes you didn’t say anything about chocolate) and dive into that dreaded writing bit I’ve been putting off.
Kelly L McKenzie recently posted..Full Disclosure
Dive in, Darlin’. When I think of all those half finished manuscripts waiting for me, along with the paintings, the websites and life in general, it’s enough to make me want to dive face first into a pint of chocolate chocolate chip ice cream.
But I won’t. I will just DO them. Maybe a couple o’nibbles helping me along.
The grief counselor we had speak to our Job Club last week said that chips and similar crunchy foods are most comforting when a person is angry.
SKJAM! recently posted..Open Thread: She’s Back!
Interesting. I was leaning more towards frustrated. But maybe they’re not too far apart on the emotional scale. Today I wanted coconut…wonder what that means. 🙂